Unfunny Inside Joke From 5 Years Ago Only Thing Holding Friendship Together
SAN FRANCISCO—An unfunny private joke dating back to when they were roommates five years ago is reportedly the last remaining thread still connecting friends Jennifer Kerns and Kerri Gallagher. "All one of us has to do is say, 'You are hungry, Mr. Max,' and we'll both bust out laughing," Gallagher said of the shared reference that has outlasted each friend's recollection of the other's birthday, favorite pastime, and middle name. "Sometimes we'll spend entire phone conversations just sort of doing it back and forth. Most times, actually." Gallagher, unaware that Kerns was currently attending her mother's funeral, added that it had been a while since her friend had called.
Peyton Manning Apologizes For Cheating One Time When He Was 5
TERRE HAUTE, IN—Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning was barely able to compose himself as he apologized to his family, friends, coaches, team, and fans Tuesday, tearfully admitting that he had in fact cheated during a 1981 game of hide and seek by deliberately hiding inside his house even though it had been declared off-limits. "Although I was young, I still knew right from wrong, and youth is no excuse for my actions," the two-time NFL MVP told reporters during a 90-minute press conference. "This was no way for the best player to ever play football, let alone quarterback, to act. I'm willing to accept any punishment the NFL wishes to hand down, whether they choose to suspend me for the first a quarter of a game or even for an entire first half." Despite leaving a total of 54 messages on Roger Goodell's voicemail, Manning said the NFL commissioner had yet to inform him of any punishment.
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